Well hello there! Long time no blogging. It’s been too long… so let’s get to the nitty-gritty…
Here’s a quick update to get you up to speed. I finally got into nursing school, graduated and passed the NCLEX. I’m officially a working licensed Registered Nurse.
During my time in Nursing school, I went through a break up and dropped a ton of weight.
I had actually been doing very well at maintaining my original weight loss, even with the stress that comes with school. I had i nice run with being what I felt was skinny for me. But then I started going out to eat way too much… and one major event happened…
I met the most wonderful man I’ve ever met. We all know what happens when you get happy and fall in love… we get comfortable. And boy did I get comfortable. For the first time in my life I figured out what it meant to have someone really love me. It’s the best! Cam and I moved in with Steve and soon after…
He popped the question on Pirates of the Caribbean at Disneyland. I of course said yes! And right now we are currently planning the wedding for March. Hence why I’m here!
I bout my dress about 4 months ago… and since then I’ve been packing on the pounds. I have tried several times to get back on track and work at losing weight. But with no results and actually putting on more weight. It’s been very depressing and I’ve been struggling with my self-confidence as a result. I’m scared that when it’s time to have my final fitting of my dress, I will have gained too much weight and I won’t fit in it.
Steve, bless his heart, thinks I’m crazy and he doesn’t notice my weight gain… which is sweet but I can’t fit comfortably in my jeans any more, my scrubs are uncomfortable and my engagement ring that was going to need to be resized because it was a little too big, now fits like a glove.
What’s sad is for the last 4 years I’ve worked in the office of bariatric surgeons. I have learned the proper way to eat and exercise in order to instruct patients how to maintain a healthy weight. Yet I can’t seem to do it myself.
I can’t seem to figure out what’s different between now and when I started this blog… and the only thing I can come up with is the blogging! So here I am, reviving my blog to try to keep myself in check.
I don’t have a scale at home so i am having to weigh myself at work, and I no longer have my wii because my parents watch Netflix on it lol. I do have a gym membership though, I just need to unfreeze it.
The reality of it is… I’ve gained all the weight I lost back, and then some.
There it is… me in X-Large scrub bottoms and weighing in at about 167 pounds. I’m not proud of it, and It shocks me that I’ve let myself go.
We went to the fair yesterday and I of course indulged in several fair treats. I felt so uncomfortable after… but that didn’t stop me from going to Denny’s for a late dinner with Steve. I was physically ill from all the crap I ate.
Steve had taken a picture of me sitting and eating gelato at the fair and when I looked at it, I had an oh my god moment…
It’s very hard to look at this picture, let alone post it so everyone can see. But I feel like if I don’t, everything I’m doing is just smoke and mirrors and would be another way for me to fool myself into thinking, I haven’t put on that much weight. This picture is the ugly truth of it. Apparently my body hurting, my clothes not fitting and my horrible heart burn wasn’t enough… it took an honest picture of what other people see to slap me into being freaked out. Now by no means is this supposed to be about how I look… it truly is about my health. I have type 2 diabetes and heart disease that runs in my family and if I don’t nip this in the bud… I will end up having serious health issues.
I’m hoping to lose 35-40 pounds by the wedding so I can fit into my dress… but ultimately I’m trying to get back into a healthy routine. I will do my best to post once a week… it’s been awhile since I’ve done these so I’m trying to re-learn how to use WordPress.
I would love any tips or advice you may have! Pinterest has become my new addiction. I plan on trying out some of the things I’ve pinned and blogging about the effectiveness and “do-ability” of them. Also I will be trying out iPhone apps to help me track how I’m doing. My Fitness pal is so far my favorite calorie tracker, but if you have any others to try I would love to know!
Thankfully I have an awesome support system at home to cheer me on during my journey.
Thanks for stopping by!