The 30 Pound Challenge

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So here we are again… October 12, 2014

Filed under: Uncategorized — christyfabela @ 9:30 pm

Well hello there! Long time no blogging. It’s been too long… so let’s get to the nitty-gritty…

Here’s a quick update to get you up to speed. I finally got into nursing school, graduated and passed the NCLEX. I’m officially a working licensed Registered Nurse.

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During my time in Nursing school, I went through a break up and dropped a ton of weight.

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I had actually been doing very well at maintaining my original weight loss, even with the stress that comes with school. I had i nice run with being what I felt was skinny for me. But then I started going out to eat way too much… and one major event happened…

Meet Steve!

Meet Steve!

I met the most wonderful man I’ve ever met. We all know what happens when you get happy and fall in love… we get comfortable. And boy did I get comfortable. For the first time in my life I figured out what it meant to have someone really love me. It’s the best! Cam and I moved in with Steve and soon after…

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He popped the question on Pirates of the Caribbean at Disneyland. I of course said yes! And right now we are currently planning the wedding for March. Hence why I’m here!

I bout my dress about 4 months ago… and since then I’ve been packing on the pounds. I have tried several times to get back on track and work at losing weight. But with no results and actually putting on more weight. It’s been very depressing and I’ve been struggling with my self-confidence as a result. I’m scared that when it’s time to have my final fitting of my dress, I will have gained too much weight and I won’t fit in it.

Steve, bless his heart, thinks I’m crazy and he doesn’t notice my weight gain… which is sweet but I can’t fit comfortably in my jeans any more, my scrubs are uncomfortable and my engagement ring that was going to need to be resized because it was a little too big, now fits like a glove.

What’s sad is for the last 4 years I’ve worked in the office of bariatric surgeons. I have learned the proper way to eat and exercise in order to instruct patients how to maintain a healthy weight. Yet I can’t seem to do it myself.

I can’t seem to figure out what’s different between now and when I started this blog… and the only thing I can come up with is the blogging! So here I am, reviving my blog to try to keep myself in check.

I don’t have a scale at home so i am having to weigh myself at work, and I no longer have my wii because my parents watch Netflix on it lol. I do have a gym membership though, I just need to unfreeze it.

The reality of it is… I’ve gained all the weight I lost back, and then some.

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There it is… me in X-Large scrub bottoms and weighing in at about 167 pounds. I’m not proud of it, and It shocks me that I’ve let myself go.

We went to the fair yesterday and I of course indulged in several fair treats. I felt so uncomfortable after… but that didn’t stop me from going to Denny’s for a late dinner with Steve. I was physically ill from all the crap I ate.

Steve had taken a picture of me sitting and eating gelato at the fair and when I looked at it, I had an oh my god moment…

nothing but the truth

nothing but the truth

It’s very hard to look at this picture, let alone post it so everyone can see. But I feel like if I don’t, everything I’m doing is just smoke and mirrors and would be another way for me to fool myself into thinking, I haven’t put on that much weight. This picture is the ugly truth of it. Apparently my body hurting, my clothes not fitting and my horrible heart burn wasn’t enough… it took an honest picture of what other people see to slap me into being freaked out. Now by no means is this supposed to be about how I look… it truly is about my health. I have type 2 diabetes and heart disease that runs in my family and if I don’t nip this in the bud… I will end up having serious health issues.

I’m hoping to lose 35-40 pounds by the wedding so I can fit into my dress… but ultimately I’m trying to get back into a healthy routine. I will do my best to post once a week… it’s been awhile since I’ve done these so I’m trying to re-learn how to use WordPress.

I would love any tips or advice you may have! Pinterest has become my new addiction. I plan on trying out some of the things I’ve pinned and blogging about the effectiveness and “do-ability” of them. Also I will be trying out iPhone apps to help me track how I’m doing. My Fitness pal is so far my favorite calorie tracker, but if you have any others to try I would love to know!

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Thankfully I have an awesome support system at home to cheer me on during my journey.

Thanks for stopping by!

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I’m not dead… Or fat! May 18, 2010

Holy Moly!

When I say life has been crazy, that’s an understatement. I was forced to take a break from the blog because we had NO INTERNET for almost a month! Clearly I survived without it lol. I got rid of face book because I was having some issues and most important I was spending too much time playing all the “ville” games and not enough time studying. Since these are the last 3 classes i need to get into the nursing program I needed to focus on not screwing them up!

I’ve noticed that by not blogging it’s harder for me to stay on track. I had no one to be accountable to. BUT that doesn’t mean I gained mass quantities of weight while I was gone. I have been keeping a close watch on my weight, doing some work-outs here and there and tighten up my eating when I see the numbers going up. I’ve been going in between 133-136 But never higher than that. Not gaining weight back is probably one of the biggest struggles everyone goes through. And right now it’s been especially hard because it seems like there’s some sort of party every weekend! Birthday parties, baby showers, graduation parties… it’s been crazy. The worst is I’ve let Dr. Pepper sneak back in while I had the stomach flu about 2 weeks back. NOOOOOO! BAD CHRISTY! That stops today!

It’s finals week! That means at the end of the week I will have earned an AA in General Studies (it’s a nothing degree, but I figured if I earned it I might as well get it right?). I apply for Fresno City’s RN program in June and then I wait to be picked by a random lottery system on a computer…. no stress there!? I HATE not having control over it. I just have to wait… I’m not good at that. I’m already off the charts anxious about it. So cross your fingers for me and hope I get picked the first go around.

What else is new? Not much actually. Ed bought me the new Reebok Run Tones. It was a belated Mothers Day gift. They’re really interesting. it kinda feels like walking around on a bounce house if that makes sense? I’ve only had them for a few days so I will keep you updated on if I start seeing a difference.

These last few weeks I’ve had several people (whom I don’t know very well) come up and ask if I’ve lost weight and what I did. That’s always a nice thing. Helps get me back in the swing of things. I’ve still got weight to get off though and I need to get serious about it. I have a lot of studying to do this week but I have to try to fit in some work outs. I’m looking forward to taking a long walk with my new shoes.

Okay I gotta get back to the books. Thanks everyone for stopping by and I hope you’re all keeping up with your own personal goals!

-Christy

 

Blah. April 15, 2010

Filed under: Body Image,Fitness,Food,Health,Life,Pound for Pound Challenge,Weight Loss — christyfabela @ 9:32 am

Hello ya’ll

I’m not in a very cheery, motivational mood today. Stress has gotten the better of me. I really need to start exercising. I think after I’m done with this posting I’m going to strap on my shoes and head out side for a jog. Get some of this bad mood off of me with fresh air and sweat.

I’m a chronic helper. Ever since I was little, all I wanted to do is make people happy. That made me the “Yes” girl. If I can help some one with something and make their life that much easier, I’m there in a heartbeat. My parents encouraged this by volunteering me to help with things. And although the goal was to make me a good person, a caring person… which it did…. but that plan had one huge flaw. It made me a push over. When I was young I confused the lines of someone needing my help for someone being my friend. It’s something I’ve carried with me into adult hood. If you’re my friend I do my best to help you whenever you need it. Although this is a good quality to have, there is a downfall. I would push my own needs aside, I ignore when I need help and for the most part I don’t say “NO” enough.

I spent most of my Middle School years eating my lunch in a teachers room because of teasing and threats. I was a chubby little girl with braces and a boy haircut. I developed my bad eating habits during those years because it was a way to make myself feel better. It was also during these years I learned how to turn off a certain emotional side to myself. Through out my early adolescence and adulthood I had a rough time with trusting people and keeping friendships for a long period of time.

After a failed marriage and a recent spurt of failed friendships I can feel myself going into that, I’m going to push you away, place. Everyone is at an arm’s length right now. 

I’m saying this because yesterday was a rough day. I started analyzing things I’ve done in my life, friendships that went wrong and the people who have set out to hurt me after being what I thought was a good friend to them. I wondered what I could have done differently… maybe if I helped them a little more… maybe if I had just kept my mouth shut…

When this starts happening I want to eat… mainly to get my mind to a different place because I know I’m a good person and I don’t need to be blaming myself for trying to be friends to people.

Yesterday I did my normal routine. But none of it satisfied me. I wanted junk all day. My body ached for it. I was tired, headachey and grumpy. I had a hard time not letting it show. I stuck with what I had, even when people from Amp energy drink where handing out free stuff. I got the drinks just because it was free, but I didn’t drink any of it. 

Dinner was ready when I got home.

Swai, roasted potatoes and creamed spinach

It was really good. Problem was I had that plate x 2. That’s right, I had 2 servings of everything. FAIL! Granted, it wasn’t like a big burger or fried junk… but still. I tossed and turned all night…. I need to do some yoga or something. I’ve got some bad ju ju around me and I need to shake it off quick.

Tomorrow is my day off. I’m determined to do something nice for myself. I’m thinking of getting one of those $19 full body massages over by the grocery store then maybe go paint something at color me mine.  This would be something you would do with a girlfriend, but I’ve become extremely protective of myself in the last few months. I’m hoping to possibly make some close connections. There are several people I really enjoy talking to and being around but I’m so guarded I’m not sure how to connect like that any more.

This was kind of a downer blog lol Sorry! But weight loss is a lot more than eating and exercise. A big part of it is emotions. Although I’ve made it pretty far on this journey, I still have a goal I plan to achieve and if I don’t work out some of this emotional stuff, I won’t make it and could possibly end up back where I started.

Thanks for coming by!

-Christy

 

Back in the Game. April 14, 2010

Happy Wednesday everyone!

I don’t know about any one else but all these earthquakes, and the freakish weather we’ve been having has got me a little on edge. It’s been a real struggle to not only dress myself appropriately, but my son as well. Last Friday as soon as I broke out my flip-flops I had to put them right back! Ugh!

Yesterday I realized that one of my favorite shirts had bleach dots on it and I have no idea where they came from. GRRRRR. Normally this would be no big deal, but it seems as though all the clothes that fit me now (since they are several years old) are coming apart! I’m super broke so there will be no shopping sprees in my future. I’m having to wear some of my bigger sized things to make do. Problem with that is I’m afraid of getting too comfortable in them and accidentally gaining weight because I’m not noticing them getting too tight. Oh well.

I had a good day yesterday my eating was spot on. I didn’t feel any yuckiness like I did on Monday and I didn’t crave junk. I decided since I only had one class yesterday, that I would make dinner. I was looking through an old Cooking Light magazine and found a pretty simple dish that everyone would like. 

Parmesan Chicken and Rice Casserole

Super easy recipe, a little less than 500 calories and almost 6 grams of fiber. I made a side of broiled plum tomatoes and served it all with a yummy spring salad.

MMMM MMMM

I treated myself to a little something sweet. Local strawberries and a bit of the good stuff.

Delish!

I was pleased with myself at the end of the day.

This morning I weighed myself (I don’t recommend weighing everyday since your weight can seriously fluctuate from day-to-day).  I did this to make a little bit of a point to those that think that if you go off track, there’s no recovering from it. This last weekend I ate… and I mean I ATE! Pepperoni pizza, margaritas, fried jalapeno and cream cheese pockets, cupcakes, soda, candy, movie popcorn and….. drum roll please…. The KFC new Double Down sandwich. For those of you that don’t know what that is…. it’s a sandwich that uses two of their fried chicken breasts as buns with cheese, bacon and a mayo based sauce in the middle. Google it, I’m sure you’ll be horrified that I ate it.

Point is… I gained! DUH! I could have seen that weight and said “oh hell, I’ll never get back on track”. But with just a couple of days of damage control I’m back at 134.5 pounds. Best thing about this journey is I’m not afraid any more when I slip up. I know what to do to fix it and I don’t get discouraged, even when I see a gain. For the first time in my life I’m at least confident about one thing, that I’ve got this under control and I will finish what I started.

Thanks so much for stopping by!

-Christy

 

Detox April 13, 2010

Well, yesterday was my first day back in the saddle. it was my long day so it was pretty easy for me to stick to my guns. my rule on Mondays “if you didn’t pack it, you don’t eat it”. Since I didn’t have a chance to do my normal shopping for the week, I quickly ran to Vons before I headed off to class to pick up just what I needed for that day. I knew it was going to be a day full of cravings and headaches because of the total junk I’ve been eating the last couple weeks, so I chose things that would make it feel like I wasn’t totally depriving myself. I grabbed a pack of my special K shakes, a pineapple upside down cake yogurt, a pack of carrots and hummus and for my dinner I went with a pre-made roast beef torta.

You don’t realize how much crappy food effects you until you remove it from your diet. By noon I was super jittery and if I had been driving around I might have been tempted to drive through some fast food chain. But since I was sitting in my car waiting for class to start, I had my shake and felt a little less like a crack addict. At break I started on my yogurt and it was awful! I was so disappointed! It tasted like butter with pineapple chunks. I had maybe 3 bites and tossed it. I was planning on saving the carrots and hummus for my night class, but I knew if I didn’t have a snack I would be a mess the rest of the day. I love hummus… when I ran out of the carrots I just sat there and used my finger to spoon it in my mouth. Clearly I have no shame.

As I set off on my 30 minute drive to the Madera campus, I ripped open my torta and scarfed it while driving. Boy was it tasty! Roast beef, tomatoes, jalapenos and queso fresco all in a yummy bun. It was uber satisfying and truth be told, I probably could have eaten several of them. I drank plenty of water through out my day and didn’t feel too bad at the end of my day. When I got home around 9pm I had a bit of a sweet tooth and grabbed a nutter butter cookie.

Sleep was a big mess. All that water did a number on me through out the night. I think I got up 3 times to use the loo. My mother gets up around 4:30am to get ready for work… which means the house comes alive at that time. She’s coughing (because she still refuses to go to a Dr.), opening and closing cabinets, watching TV… and since she’s awake, so are the dogs. Our doggie door sounds like a gun shot going off every time they go in and out and my room just happens to be right above the damn thing.  I had a moment of “Should I get up and shoosh them?” needless to say I didn’t. Instead I laid there and cursed them.

I got up this morning cranky. I’m fairly sure the PMS monster is rearing its ugly head today. Between finding out that Ed washed his cells phone last night with the laundry, and finding out the one day I need someone to pick Cam up from school is the exact day my mother has to work over time…. I’m on serious edge. I got on the scale today and there was a .4 gain!? WTF!? I hope to God it’s because of my upcoming monthly curse. I was about to take my balance board and throw it at the television.

So I’m thinking I’m going to cook something healthy for dinner tonight since I only have one class. Just gotta figure out what I’m gonna make. Hrmmm. If you have any suggestions or good recipes let me know!

Have a great day!

-Christy

 

Living Life April 12, 2010

Hello everyone!

So as you may have noticed I have not posted in a while. There are several reasons for my lack of updates.

1. I’ve been living life. I’ve been doing a lot of fun stuff and not so fun stuff. But I’ve been a busy bee. School has been nuts, I’ve been enjoying having Ed back and I’ve been extra focused on Cam. Let me tell you, being a mom, full-time student and girlfriend is no easy task.

2. I have not been on my best behavior with my eating… and I was almost afraid to get on the scale and have to admit to you all that I’ve gained some massive amount of weight in a 2 week period.  That would be such a let down for me.

I knew the longer I went without getting on that scale and updating my progress, the worse it would get and I could possibly go back to my old habits. I’ve worked too damn hard for that to happen!

This weekend I went to Sacramento to spend a little time with Ed. It was a conversation with our friends about how it’s important to know your families medical history so that you know what you’re up against, that got me back into the correct mind-set again. It’s not for looks… Ed loves me either way, as proven by the massive popcorn, soda and candy he insisted I eat at the movies. It’s the word “diabetes”. There is no question if I will get it if I become obese, I will get it. I can’t afford to take that chance. I’ve got a child that depends on me. So even though it wasn’t that big of a deal to have one too many slices of pizza, or to eat that extra cupcake this weekend… I know that I’m walking a fine line and in a way playing with fire.  One thing leads to another and I get into the mind-set “oh well just one Dr. pepper is not so bad…” That one Dr. Pepper leads to 2, and then running through Jack-in-the box for some fries… stopping and getting a $5 hot-n-ready and eating it by myself… Yeah I said by myself!

I gave away my larger sized jeans, and I can’t afford to by new ones… soooo going back to my old ways of eating is not an option. I will say that in my head it feels like I’ve gone way off track. But in actuality I’ve actually been doing okay. I have stuck to my normal eating routine for breakfast and lunch… it’s dinners that I’ve gone a little hay-wire with. That and my work-outs have been non-existant. Late night studying and stress has all but extinguished my energy level. I will do at least 3 work outs this week if it kills me! I know the lack of exercise is whats making me so dang sluggish.

With all that being said, I got on the scale this morning and I am 135.1 lbs. Soooo all things considered… I only gained .6 which is A LOT better than I was expecting. I was worried I was going to see a 5 pound gain. I’m glad I got straightened out now though. That’s still a normal weight, and a totally manageable gain. If I clean up my eating and do some exercise this week I’m pretty sure I can get back to at least 134.5 by the end of the week.

I just received a text from ed a few minutes ago saying he took one of my shakes to work and asked if that was really all I had for lunch. I told him that’s my lunch most days and I have a snack a couple of hours later. I told him that I hope that’s not all he brought himself for lunch because that would not be enough for him! His response was “oops”. Poor thing is going to be starving by the end of the day.

Well ya’ll thanks for stopping by. I will make sure i get back on track with the updates and pics. The Easter issue of Martha Stewarts Living has some fantastic looking healthy recipes that I plan on trying… so look out for those updates!

-Christy

 

Updated pictures…finally! March 29, 2010

Hello ya’ll

Alright, so I’ve held off long enough… 25 pounds is a good marker to finally update the before and after pictures. I haven’t wanted to take them because even though I know I’ve lost weight… there are days when I just don’t see it. Sure my pants are loose and my bras are 2 sizes too big… but when I look at myself in the mirror, it’s the same girl I’ve always seen. I finally broke down and decided to get it over with. Keep in mind I’m dressed for a day at the zoo, I have yet to have my pants hemmed and I had no desire to do my hair. I’m pretty sure the zoo animals don’t care what I look like.

wow was I tan!

So there’s not much change from the front, I will always have chubby cheeks, big hips and big thighs… well unless I start running, which I keep saying I’m going to start and then never do it…

From the side view is when I realized, wow… I really did lose weight! Thanks again Darlyn for the stellar piecing together of the photos. I’m retarded when it comes to that stuff.

So today Cam and I went to our little zoo here in Fresno. Apparently every other jobless mom in the area had the same idea. Little too crowded for my taste but we had fun.

pretending to eat Cams chicken rings

He was nice enough to share a couple. I almost had a moment where I ripped them out of his hands and shoved them down my throat… but I managed to control myself.

The good ol' standby

When ever I’m at a place like the zoo, or some sort of park I usually go with a hotdog because if nothing else, I know it’s not deep-fried. We shared a water and went back to taking in the animals. My favorite section is the rainforest “habitat”. I put quotations because it’s literally the size of a small childs bedroom… but they’ve got some neat frogs and a sloth.

I lurv you misser fwoggy.

I don’t care if they’re poisonous… I WANT ONE!

We ended the trip with me caving to 2 toys from the gift shop instead of the one I tried to hold firm at. We had a great time and our pass doesn’t expire till the end of April so looks like we’ll be making a couple more trips in the near future.

Looks like I need to get back to entertaining the boy. We’re planting tomatoes and basil today!

Thanks for stopping by

-Christy

 

 
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